You see, for the past week or so, it’s felt like the bones in my feet are fixin’ to snap. Usually it’s when I first get up and start to walk, but not always. It’s almost as if the bones are out of line, and there’s unnatural pressure on them. It feels like they’re flexing and bending, and could break at any time. It doesn’t hurt really, it just feels weird and scares me.
It’s mostly my right foot, but it’s happened with the left one a few times, too. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Should I start getting my things in order? Should I contact the outsize load crematorium? Please tell me what you know about this. It’s freaking me out, man.
I’ve been running a lot of red lights lately, and totally getting away with it. I know I’m jinxing myself by bragging, but need to tell someone.
Of course, all this happens in the middle of the night, on abandoned roads, but still. It’s exciting. I pull up to a red light with nobody around, wait for 15 seconds or so… and go on through. It’s happened about five times over the past couple of weeks. It makes me feel like a gangsta.
Needless to say, I won’t pull that stunt in our little town here. The cops are everywhere, lurking and hiding in the shadows. They’d be all over me, like a spider monkey on a nun.
Toney was watching some show called The Chew a few days before Thanksgiving, and a nice homosexual man inserted a load of quartered apples into the cavity of a turkey before cooking it. This intrigued me. The dude said it adds flavor, and makes the bird moist. I told Toney we should try it, and we did. And it was fantastic: really, really good.
Do you do anything unusual with your turkey? Or do you just slide it into the oven, like we used to do? What’s worked for you? I’m ready to get all experimental ‘n’ shit with it. Help me out, won’t you?
And I know this one is brief, but it’s really just a continuation of yesterday’s update. These early days at work are cramping my style. So, until things settle down… we’ll just play it by ear. How’s that sound?
Have a great day, my friends!