It’s Saturday afternoon as I type this. Andy (aka Blacklips Houlihan, aka The Snout of Truth) is sleeping on the floor beside me, and I’m listening to a solo album by Martin Carr, a former member of The Boo Radleys. I’m working on yet another cup of coffee, and the chemicals in my brain are mixing favorably at the moment. You know, just to set the scene.
My goals for the weekend: eventually finish this update, send out an email to the list, do some Facebook boolshit, and combine several scattered and half-assed notebooks into one. That last item is a desperate attempt to feel like I’ve got control of something. It’ll be an illusion, of course, but might pacify me for a while.
Yesterday I worked from noon until around 2 am, and slept from 4 to 11. Today and tomorrow, I’m off. And I’m drunk on the freedom.
Speaking of drunk, Toney bought a six-pack of Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale, I see, and it’s chilling in the upstairs fridge. Oh yeah. It’s gotta be one of the best beers in the world, right? We love it. That six-pack will not live to see 8 pm. What are you drinking this weekend?
Yesterday at work I heard someone use a phrase I don’t think I’d heard since high school: trouser trout. “I don’t know what to have for lunch,” Guy 1 said. “I heard you like trouser trout?” answered Guy 2. Heh. The dumbassery of it all makes me laugh. It’s a holdover from another era, from back when guys in velour shirts used to greet each other by saying, “Gettin’ any?” Simpler times.
And that reminds me… When I was in high school there was an older dude who occasionally wore a t-shirt with iron-on letters that spelled SUCK A ROD. The letters weren’t lined up right, and it was clearly made at home, probably while high. I mean, the folks at T-Shirts Plus would never turn out such shoddy work.
But it always amazed me that he was allowed to wear that thing to class, etc. I mean, what the hell?
And there was another guy, named Roni (pronounced roney), who came to school all the time with a shirt featuring two cartoon pigs having sex. Above it were the words MAKIN’ BACON! I found the exact design:
Our kids aren’t allowed to even show up in a shirt without a collar; they have to dress like they’re working for a corporation every day. Suck a rod? Makin’ Bacon?? Those surely violated some kind of dress code, wouldn’t you say? Even during the late ’70s? Yeah, but I suspect it was a case of “Screw it. You gotta pick your battles.”
What astonishing things did people get away with during your schooldays? Tell us about it in the comments.
And I’m going to Sam’s Club now, with Toney. I’ll add more later.
OK, I’m back. Sam’s was pandemonium, and it’s raining outside. I had no idea. It’s weird when you walk out the front door, and it’s nothing like you’d assumed.
Here are a few photos I snapped during our outing:
Toney and I are watching Season 2 of MasterChef Junior, and neither of us can stand this pompous little shit. Every time he appears onscreen we both howl in protest. I know he’s only 13, or whatever, but fuck that guy. He’s well on his way to becoming an insufferable bastard, and possibly our future boss.
Heading out to a coffee shop, to get some work done. I don’t like the local Starbucks, because it’s got linoleum floors and metal chairs. It’s not very comfortable, or inviting — almost like a school cafeteria. Oh, they did a horrible job of Starbucking that building. There’s an indie shop downtown that I might check out; it’s newish, and I’ve never been there. But I’ll probably just end up at Panera. They have the best coffee, and there are plenty of corners to disappear into.
Yeah, I ended up at Panera, as predicted. Their coffee is great, and endless. They just hand you a mug, and let you go wild with it.
I’m working on an outline of a novel I might try to write soon. I think the premise is solid, and I get excited whenever I have a chance to work on it. So, that’s what I was doing.
While there, I heard a guy order a sandwich and was adamant: “NO CHEESE!” I have never, in all my life, told anyone to hold the cheese, on anything. I mean, seriously. I don’t even understand such a concept. Cheese makes everything better. I like it when they double-stack it, and it’s so thick it’s an actual, perceptible layer you’ve gotta pass through. Mmmm… cheese.
Now I’m going to make a salad to go with dinner. I don’t know how it happened, exactly, but years ago that became my job. I’m the official salad-maker here at Chez Kay. There’s never even a discussion about it. The roles are pretty well-defined at this point.
Then it’ll be time for some TV with Toney… So, this will probably be the end of this crazy experiment. How’d you like this blogging o’ the weekend? I’m not sure how many people are reading, but let me know if you like it. Maybe I’ll make it a regular or semi-regular thing.
Have a great night, my friends.