First guy (singing): I’m a joker, I’m a smoker, I’m a miiiiidnight toker…
Second guy: Ha! Who does that song? Tom Petty?
First guy (looking disgusted): No, not Tom Petty. Really?! It’s Bob Seger.
It reminds me of a similar conversation I overheard, years ago. I was walking through the receiving dock at one of my fulfilling jobs, and “Been Caught Stealing” by Jane’s Addiction was blasting from the radio.
Another first guy: Oh man, I love this song!!
Another second guy: Who is it?
Another first guy: You don’t know who it is?! God, what an idiot! It’s the Beastie Boys.
I just kept walking, without even the slightest interruption to my stride. ‘Cause there would have been no upside to getting into it. For several reasons…
Firstly, who gives a shit? Another First Guy was (and almost certainly is) a blue ribbon dumbass. I mean… if stupid were potatoes, that guy would be Sun Valley Farms, of Paul, Idaho. Why waste precious moments of my life discussing trivia with a shit-for-brains?
It’s like when I worked at that convenience store in Dunbar, and my holler-dwelling co-workers were arguing, at length, about who would win a fistfight(!?) between Van Halen and the Rolling Stones. Is that something you want to invest time into? I think not.
Secondly, I’m not really into correcting. Lots of people love nothing more than to correct. You might say he had one coming, due to his shitty attitude toward Another Second Guy, but it all means nothing. You can’t fix stupid, and somebody will likely administer a 360-degree ass-whuppin’ on him, because of his cockiness, somewhere along the way. Nature takes care of that kind of thing. It’s not my responsibility.
What’s your stance on correcting? It’s not my thing, but sometimes I feel like I’m in the minority. Would you have gotten into it with either of those music “experts?” Tell us about it in the comments.
And while you’re considering the question… enjoy some Beastie Boys. Great stuff!
Before I call it a week here at Maturity Is For Suckers world headquarters, I invite you to check out an audio montage that signaled the arrival of the redneck weekend in Atlanta for many years. This thing was played at five o’clock every Friday, on classic rock station 96 Rock, for a decade, maybe two. It brought genuine joy to thousands, and caused a Pavlovian desire to guzzle Bud Light in unreasonable amounts.
I have heard it literally hundreds of times, and know it like I know the most overplayed Beatles songs. Feel free to crank it up near the end of your workday, and celebrate like a vintage Southern good ol’ boy!
And I’ll see you guys again on Monday!
Have a fantastic weekend.