A few days ago (or was it weeks? or maybe 2011?) a reader sent me the above graphic, along with an email saying my secret past had been discovered.
Ha! I wish I’d been that hip in 1977. I was 14 years old then, zit-spangled, and about as doofus dumbass as they come. I was a long way away from playing guitar in the Talking Heads.
That being said, though… There is a slight resemblance, huh? The unfortunate hair atop the triangular head… I see what he’s saying. And it’s a new one, too. Nobody has ever told me I look like Jerry Harrison. So, I appreciate the originality.
I have been told, by more than one person, that I resemble Adam Clayton from U2. Indeed, I’ve seen photos of the band during the early days, and wondered, for a split-second: “When did I hang out with Bono and The Edge? I don’t remember this, at all!”
Below is a photo of me actually hanging out with Iggy Pop, during the early 1990s. And I use the term “hanging out” loosely; there’s a photographer from Virgin Records standing behind the camera, and a handler periodically hollering NEXT!
In any case, this was when I was being told I look like Adam Clayton the most. Please note: I was not suffering from glaucoma, or any other debilitating eye diseases; those were just my regular everyday glasses. How I was ever able to convince living, breathing women to have sex with me is a mystery that will likely outlast us all.
Here are a couple of early photos featuring Adam Clayton. They’re not the greatest, but you’ll get the idea. There’s a legitimate resemblance, I think. Even beyond the ludicrous eyewear.
For the record: I showed my dad the Iggy photo a million years ago, and he shouted, “Good god! Who’s that old wino?!” And I answered, “Dad, that’s me.” Comedy!
An ex-girlfriend used to say I look like Lou Reed, but I don’t know… I suspect she was just trying to justify things inside her own mind. “At least if I’m really drunk and squint a lot, there’s a slight resemblance to Lou Reed. It’s a little something to hang onto, until things turn around for me…”
Beyond the many, many rock stars I’ve been told I resemble, here’s one I discovered on my own — years ago, while renewing my driver’s license. In case you don’t recognize him, that’s Mohamed Atta, one of the 9/11 ringleaders (died suddenly at work). Fantastic. I think I’ll stick with Jerry Harrison, thank you very much.
Now it’s your turn. In the comments, please tell us which celebs your friends have said you resemble. Do you agree with them? Please bring us up to date on this important matter.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!