On Saturday night I attended a semi-fancy work-related soiree, at a person’s huge and beautiful home. I don’t generally enjoy such things, on account of my social awkwardness, and was apprehensive about going. But… I didn’t feel like I was in a position to say no.
So, I made sure I had the right clothes ready to go, got dressed, and punched the address into my phone. But the neighborhood is so new, it stumped Google Maps. Eventually, however, I found an area where a shitload of cars were lining the street, and figured I was getting warm.
It was dark, and I couldn’t see very well. So, I parked and started walking. I noticed a mailbox with an address on the side. I walked over to investigate, slipped on ice, and fell flat on my back. I mean, it was like something out of the cartoons; I think my right foot was above my head for a split second.
My skeleton was jolted, and I lost my breath. But, it seemed like I was OK. I didn’t hit my head, and my pelvis hadn’t turned to dust. So, I wallowed around on ice, a fat ass in dress clothes — directly in front of the party I was supposed to attend. And it felt like the wallowing went on for quite some time.
When I was finally upright again, I checked to see if my clothes were ripped, and everything was good. I wasn’t even covered in slush or mud, or anything. I’d slipped on solid ice, which is fairly clean.
So, I went inside and awkwarded up the joint for a few hours. The end.
How long has it been since you fell flat on your ass? I fell coming out of work a couple of years ago, and jacked-up my left wrist. But I’m usually super-cautious about such things. Do you have any stories to tell, about slipping and falling? Please use the comments section above or below, or whatever the hell.
For the past three or four years I’ve received at least one phone call per month for a person named Carlton. Literally dozens of calls. And it’s not a situation where this Carlton person used to have my phone number, it’s people mis-dialing.
It seems like Carlton is a very powerful man, because everybody who calls him seems eager to please. Possibly even shitting themselves a bit. I might be imagining it, but I suspect they have to psyche themselves up before dialing the numbers. Then they screw it all up and call me, a fat road-wallower with no social skills.
I’d like to get the story on this guy, and might start asking questions. The next time I receive a Carlton call I think I’m going to try to get to the bottom of it.
What do you think? Should I launch an investigation, or could it lead to trouble? Perhaps I don’t need to insert myself into Carlton’s world? What are your feelings on the matter? Could I be opening up a whole Hitchcock series of events? Maybe he’s a professional hit man, or a drug kingpin? And maybe it could lead to someone saying, “This Jeff Kay character… he’s asking questions.” What do you think?
Yesterday I had to renew a bunch of domain names with GoDaddy. Man, I hate paying money for stuff like that… In fact, I let one go. But I still had to renew seven or eight — including this one, TheWVSR, and the title of my next novel. Important addresses.
The thing, though? GoDaddy has many, many discount codes floating around in the universe. So, I spent at least an hour trying to get one to work. One lowered the cost by 10%, but I was convinced I could to do better. And I went down a rat hole of promo codes that had me teetering on the edge of sanity.
I’m NEVER convinced I got the best deal. Never! Eventually, however, I pulled the trigger on it. I had to, I was losing it. It’s still nagging at me, though. The next one I tried, I know, would’ve shaved a full 30 bucks off the price. I just know it!
Oh, I have a love/hate relationship with internet discount codes. There’s nothing like the feeling when a good one takes hold. But yesterday I was denied. Almost all of them did nothing, and I ended up paying roughly $12 per domain. Grrr…
I need to go to work now, my friends. I’m trying to get this site back on schedule, starting today. So, check back on Thursday for something new.
And have yourselves a great day!