The older boy was home for Thanksgiving, and it went well. I drove down there to pick him up on Tuesday, and Toney took him back yesterday. Now he has one week of classes, another week of finals, and he’s off for SIX WEEKS. Yeah, that’s a long time.
Oh, I like for him to be here. But the part that drives me a little crazy is his alternative clock, whereby the day’s activities begin around 10 pm. Everything leading up to it is watching TV or playing guitar, or whatever. Then around 10: “Do you mind if I go out for a while?”
And I can’t sleep, whatsoever, until he’s home safe. I always pin him down to a specific time when he’ll be home (“I need a number! Give me a number!!”), and he doesn’t seem to like that. You know, ’cause he’s an independent college student now. But tough shit.
Other than that minor annoyance, though, it was a good visit. It feels like we’ve figured it out, finally. But six weeks is going to be a long time.
While driving to the school on Tuesday, I had to urinate with a fiery urgency, and was also hungry for cheap sack-food. But not McDonald’s, I vowed. Anything but McDonald’s.
I saw a sign that indicated the upcoming exit had a McDonald’s, and also an Arby’s. The latter sounded good, so I left the interstate. …And the Arby’s was closed for renovations. Dammit! I had to pee so bad, I ended up at McDonald’s anyway. It’s like a black hole in space, that sucks up all the energy around it.
I peeled back some porcelain, and ordered three regular hamburgers with no pickles. And as I was toting the sack to my car, I spotted an old lady sitting on the sidewalk, with her purse dumped out. Her legs were splayed, and she was dabbing sweat off her forehead.
I walked over, and asked if she was OK. “Help me to my feet,” she said. “I tripped over that curb, and hurt my knee.” I got her uprighted, and another lady hustled over and got her purse put back together for her.
“Thank you,” she said. “People were walking past me, and over me. I appreciate it.”
Wow. People were stepping OVER her? Can that be true? That’s some cold shit, sure to earn someone an aisle seat on the Hell Express.
She wobbled into the restaurant, repeating the phrase, “I’m OK. I’m OK.” Hopefully she didn’t order any of that Chernobyl coffee. I don’t think she was stable enough for liquids of that temperature.
My birthday was yesterday, and it’s nothing to be celebrated. Especially at my advanced age. As Adam Carolla says, even Hitler was born. It’s not that great of an achievement.
I spent most of the day procrastinating about a new wireless router that’s been sitting in a box for several weeks. I didn’t want to get into it, but Comcast was hounding us, telling us it needed to be set up and activated. I just knew it would be a cluster-copulation, and put it off as long as possible.
But it worked out well. I’m sincerely amazed. And the service seems a lot faster, too. That’s a hell of a birthday present, right there. Something that would usually cause me to lose my everlovin’ shit, shout profanity, and alienate my whole family — avoided. The universe gave me a fine, fine gift.
I have more, and will continue this tomorrow. Screw the schedule. In the meantime, please remember to use our Amazon links while doing your holiday shopping. They’re all over the site, including one right below this, and any will work.
And for a Question, please just tell us how your Thanksgiving went. Were there fistfights, massive head trauma, or anything exciting? Please tell us about it in the comments.
Have a great day.
I’ll see you tomorrow!