One more week, and I’ll be rejoining the human race. I feel all weird and isolated, and completely cut-off. All I do is work and sleep, almost literally. But next Monday I’ll be returning to a 40-hour (or so) work week. It’ll feel like I have a part-time job.
Please give me a week to adjust, and we’ll return to the old schedule here: FOCUSED updates on Monday and Thursday, and a super-secret all-over-the-place Friday update for subscribers of the mailing list.
Sorry I’ve gotten so far off-track with this thing. I’ve been working between 55 and 60 hours per week, and it feels like I’ve been lobotomized most of the time. I should’ve just moved to China and started installing iPhone screens, and gotten it over with.
But, only one more week of this horseshit. There’s light at the end of the tunnel — and this time I don’t think it’s a train bearing down on me.
The whole world is encased in a thick layer of ice this morning. It’s like the neighborhood is laminated. Toney tried to go to work, and turned around and came back. School is closed (of course), and I’m supposed to leave for work in about an hour.
I’m going to try to make it. But I’m telling ya… I’m officially sick of it. Every Monday! It’s like God has a recurring Outlook reminder: It’s Monday, screw around with the Northeast USA…
Do you think God uses Outlook? I don’t see why not.
I was invited to appear on a Web-based TV show called HuffPost Live, or somesuch. They wanted me to come on and discuss an article I wrote back in 2012, about farting. This one, in fact.
I would have appeared live, via webcam, at 3 pm last Friday afternoon. And I have a feeling I would’ve been asked to defend my admitted gender-based double-standard as it pertains to farting. I would’ve been on trial, I believe, because I’m not a fan of the sisterhood blasting ass. Yet I give the dudes a pass.
Sounds like fun, right? Unfortunately I was forced to decline their invitation. I’m flattered that I’m still one of the go-to guys for such matters, though. Heh. Wait till my new novel comes out… It’ll surely cement my reputation.
Do you remember these things? We used to make them when I was a kid, and I’d almost totally blocked ’em out of my memory. It looks like they’re still available. I need to seek one out. I can still remember how they tasted. Crazy!
A couple of things I don’t understand… Maybe you guys can help me?
Toney was recently sick, and went to an Urgent Care kind of place. One of the first things they asked her, was “Were you originally born in Pennsylvania?”
First of all, I object to the phrase “originally born.” But, let’s not get sidetracked… Why would they need to know such a thing? Toney’s from Nevada. How is this information helpful to them? I don’t get it.
Also, a friend at work told me recently that folks’ feet usually increase in size as they get older. Is this true? If so, why? Fatter, I can see. But she says that’s not it. People just naturally go up a half or whole size during their adult years. Why?? Help me out, my friends.
And I need to go chisel the door of my car open now. Wish me luck on my 40 mile trek to work in this crap. Every Monday!! Grrr…
Have a great day, boys and girls.